Not by Blood
by PunkComplex
Summary: Bobby's back in town and wants to tell Jack exactly what he feels for him. However this new guy Derek is a problem. Jerry said he and Jack started dating a month ago and he seems like a good guy.Can Bobby realize what's going on in time? BJ Slash, Abuse
1. I came back

-1

The funeral was the first time I had seen him in, god, I don't even know how many years. He was still beautiful. Tousled hair and lush pink lips wrapped around a cigarrette, he was the only one who could make me lose my cool; something that Bobby Mercer just does NOT do. I was watching him now, standing in front of Jeremiah's house on the other side of the street, and I wished I could go up and wrap my arms around him. All I wanted at that moment was to kiss him until he was breathless and promise him he'd never be alone again.

I finally got up the courage to walk over to him, purposely ignoring Green and his cop pal parked down the street.

" Hey Baby Bro." I greeted.

He turned to me with a shaky smile.

" Hey Bobby. It's good to see you. How long you stickin' around for this time?"

_As long as you want me _I thought but ended up saying " I dunno, you know how it is. I just came to get this all straightened out, pay my respects to mom and all that."

He exhaled a cloud of smoke and gave me his shaky smile again.

I was starting to get a little worried.

"You okay Jackie?"

"Ya man." he said and I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, allowing myself this one little comfort.

"You know I love you right?" If only he knew how true that was.

I was gifted with a bigger smile.

"Ya, I know."

We turned as one and I walked him over to the house.

"Hey Jerry!" I yelled.

"Bobby!" he shouted and greeted me with a manly hug and a slap on the back.

"Man, how you been!"

I laughed and glanced at Jack out of the corner of my eye, " Not too bad man, missing my brothers though." _missing Jack_

Jeremiah smiled his goofy ass grin, " I feel ya there bro. Anyway, let's move our asses inside, it's freezing out here."

I turned to make sure Jack had heard that we were heading in and motioned for him to walk ahead . He gave me a weird look but then covered it with a smile and strolled by me.

As we walked up the path I couldn't help but glance down and enjoy the way his hips swung when he walked, slim legs covered in tight black denim.

Jerry opened up the door and walked in, pausing to tell Jack to put his smoke out before coming in.

Jack paused for one more drag and I stopped beside him as he flicked it down and stepped on it. We both moved to step in the door at the same time and then stopped and stared at each other. I broke the awkward moment when I laughed and placed my hand on the small of his back. Gently moving him through the entrance I let my hand linger for a quick stroke before turning to shut the door behind us. When I turned around Jack stood leaning against the wall, arms and legs crossed.

"Well make yourself comfortable CrackerJack." I teased.

He smiled and pushed himself off of the wall, coming to stand in front of me. Turning so his back faced my chest he said, "Hey Bro," and threw a look at me over his shoulder, " would you mind slipping my jacket off for me? Cold leather's a real bitch to get off by yourself."

My heart leapt into my throat and I unconsciously cleared it.

Trying to get myself together I smirked and forced a laugh, " That's a pretty queer thing to say Jackie Boy."

He didn't rise to the bait and I was forced to place my hands on his shoulders and slip the jacket off.

The black leather slid down his arms and pooled around his elbows. Underneath he wore a torn red and black T, so tight that if he'd turned around at that moment I think I'd have been able to see his nipples through the fabric. He dropped his arms and his jacket began to drop to the floor. I shot a hand out and caught the heavy garment before it could land and then raised my head back up. Jack had turned around without my noticing and we now stood chest to chest, almost but not quite touching. _I was right, you can see his nipples_ I swallowed heavily and went to hand him his coat. He tilted his head to the side and my eyes dropped to his neck. God, all I wanted to do was kiss my way up and down the creamy skin he'd unconsciously presented me, maybe leave a mark or two to let the world know that he was MINE.

I snapped back to attention as he grabbed the coat from me and turned to hang it up on one of the pegs by the door. Running my eyes up and down his body I got angry _Fuck this. _I thought and raised my hand to spin him around and give him the kiss I'd been dreaming of when a shout came from the kitchen.

"Jack!" Jeremiah called out, laughing, " Get your ass in here and control your man!"

Jack laughed and strode off to the kitchen.

"What the fuck!" I muttered.

I walked down the hall and entered the kitchen, surprised to see a big black man sitting at the table with Jack in his lap.

"What the fuck!" I said again, this time yelling it out and causing the chatter in the kitchen to stop.

My eyes were still on the piece of shit sitting at the table so I saw when he told Jack to get up and then dealt him a playful smack on the ass.

He walked up to me and thrust out his hand.

"You must be Bobby. Jack never shuts up about you. I'm Derek, call me D."

I glanced to Jeremiah who stood shaking his head and laughing.

" Ya I'm Bobby," I said, turning back to the big black jack ass in front of me, " and I don't care who the fuck you are, get the hell outta my brothers house before I kick ya ass."

"Bobby!" I heard Jack yell.

I turned to him with a glare.

" So you ARE a little fuckin' fairy. I knew it. All those little faggot gestures of yours must've been leadin' up to something'. What, don't tell me you actually stick his dick in ya mouth and give it a good suckin'."

Jack stood up and stormed over.

" Just shit the fuck up Bobby. Fuck, you don't know anything about me! You just walk back in after fuckin' YEARS and expect everything to be like you left it! Well fuck you Bobby!."

He turned to "D" and grabbed his hand, his muscular heavily tattoo-ed fuckin' hand, and they walked out of the kitchen.

I turned to Jeremiah and apparently the look on my face said a whole hell of a lot because he sighed and gave Camille a kiss before motioning me to take a walk with him. We went outside and sat down on the porch swing.

"Look Bobby," Jerry started and turned to me, " I know you don't like what's going on here but Jack's still your little brother. You just gonna desert him now like all the others have?"

I took a deep breath and tried to get the image of Jack and Derek out of my head.

" Jere, it's not that he's…..like that," I said, " But that motherfucker ain't good enough for him. Not for Jackie."

Jeremiah smiled and set his hand down on my shoulder.

"Bobby, they've been going together now for a month and all the times Jacks brought him around the house he's seemed like an okay guy. If it makes you feel better Ma gave her blessing the day that Jack came out and told her."

I shifted. Ma shoulda been givin' US that blessin'.

" Fine Jerry, I'll play nice from now on but, can ya tell me one thing?"

"Sure Bobby, if I can."

I really didn't want to ask this, but I had to know.

"Is he happy?"

Jeremiah sighed and ran his fingers along the grooves someone had carved into the wood.

"Honestly? I don't know. I mean, some days he acts like everythings going his way and other times I could almost swear that he's trying to hide something'. I dunno if he's happy Bobby, but I can't say for sure that he's not. Just leave it be man, let your little brother do his thing without having to worry about us steppin' in and messin' things up."

I wasn't happy about it, that's for damn sure, but until I knew for a fact that Jackie was unhappy I'd leave them both be. It was my own fault anyway. Damn it! If only I'd come back two months, a month, ago then he'd be with ME. This Derek guy had better watch himself because I'd be watching him very closely from now on, and if he does anything to make MY Jack unhappy it's gonna be the last thing he'll ever do.


	2. Apologies

Thanks to Lucy, StarCherrieQueen, EbonyRose02, and DanaHeeroDuoMax for your AWESOME reviews. I really appreciate it. Hope you like the next chapter!.

Chapter 2: Apologies

Jeremiah and I had moved back into the house after our talk. His wife Camille was a real sweetheart about the situation. I mean, I know for a fact that she thinks I'm a bad influence on my brothers, Jerry especially, but she still found the time to take me aside and reassure me.

"I know I don't know you all that well Bobby," she had told me, " but Jack's your little brother, so you BETTER smarten the hell up!"

A real peach that one.

About an hour or two later Jack came back. He must've ditched his black beauty somewhere because he came alone. Jerry, being the "supporting" brother he is left Jack and I alone in the kitchen to "deal with our shit"…. or so he said.

Jack cautiously came in and silently pulled out a chair to sit down in.

I was confused…where the hell was my Jack? The one who made noise no matter what he was doing.

Did I do this to him? Is he that worried about my reaction?

I stomped over to the table and threw myself down in the chair next to him before grabbing his hand from where it was fiddling with a loose thread in the tablecloth. My heart skipped a beat when my hand touched his and I took a moment to calm myself down and remember that brotherly affection was the only thing I could give him now.

"Look Jack," I began but was interrupted.

"I know Bobby, you were right, I'm a fuckin' faggot okay?" His voice began to trail off, "Just…leave it be though okay? Please, Bobby, do this one thing for me."

I felt like a total bastard as I heard the unshed tears in his throat as he pleaded with me.

"Jackie." I called, wanting him to look up.

Finally he raised his eyes from the floor and looked at me from under lowered lashes.

_God he looks sexy like that_ I thought before reminding myself that now definitely was not the time.

"Jackie, I'm sorry for what I said okay? I didn't mean it."

"W..What?" he stuttered, eyes wide in shock.

I gave him a little grin.

"I suppose now's the time I'm supposed to spout some shit about you being able to be whoever you want to be and not to let anyone or anything stop you, but you know me…if there's one thing I'm not it's inspirational."

Jack gifted me with a small laugh.

"Ya Bobby."

I squeezed the hand I suddenly realized I was still holding and then pulled him into a hug, delighting in the scent of him as we wrapped our arms around each other.

"I still love ya, ya little fairy." I whispered into his hair.

We pulled apart as we heard clapping and turned to see Jerry standing in the doorway with his arm around Camille.

"Well that was just lovely ya'll."

Everyone laughed and I stood and helped Jack to his feet.

"Aw shut it Jerry."

Camille received a kiss on the forehead before Jeremiah pulled away and started walking towards the front door. When he reached it he turned back with a smirk.

" Well, ya'll comin'?"

I shared a confused look with Jack before asking, "Comin' where?"

At this Jerry's face lost some of it's glow.

"To Ma's house."

Resigned, Jack and I walked to the door and slipped our boots on.

The snow crunched under our feet as we walked over to Jeremiah's "family van".

"Shit man," I realized, "I got my car parked across the road. I'll just meet ya at Ma's house."

I turned and started to walk down the driveway, stopping when Jack shouted at me to "Wait up!".

He skidded to a stop beside me and we crossed the road together; no matter how much Ma tried to get us too, we still never looked both ways before crossing.

My car was a beaten down piece of shit, but it got me from A to B so I wasn't the least bit embarrassed when I told Jack he had to wiggle the door a bit before opening it.

When we were inside I started my baby up and pulled away from the curb, telling Jack to buckle up.

"Man Bobby, some thug you are." he whined as he clicked the belt into place.

"Hey," I told him, " I happen to like havin' you around so every time you're in my car you betta' be wearin' your seatbelt CrackerJack."

He grumbled almost the entire way to Ma's house. I, on the other hand just sat there and enjoyed the alone time I'd gotten with him. Every once in a while the heaters would blow his scent my way and I would barely be able to focus. All I wanted to do was reach across the seat and pull him over next to me.

If only that black pain in my ass hadn't gotten to him first!

I was fuming as we pulled up to the house and met Jerry by the porch.

The creaking of the familiar screen door calmed me down a bit and seeing Angel sitting there waiting for us finished the job. Man, it was good to see him. I was finally with all my brothers again.

Surprisingly everyone listened to me when I told them to take their old rooms and said I'd be takin' Ma's, even Jack who I thought I'd get at least a little bit of fight out of. I guess he just didn't wanna rile me up and risk the peace we had goin'.

Christ being in Ma's room was weird, and to top it all off I spent 15 minutes in the bathroom crying like a little girl.

Wiping the remnants of tears from my face I exited the bathroom and followed the music to Jack's room where I sat down and tried to appear manly.

"You still makin' a racket on that thing?" I asked him.

He laughed a bit and answered, "Ya, still makin' a racket."

Then, man that kid has balls, he looked at me with a smirk and asked me, "So…too weird in Mom's room?"

I decided to be honest.

"Way too weird."

I sat there then and listened to him pick away at his guitar before Jeremiah came and told us he was gonna go pick up a turkey and Angel came and tried to convince us he wasn't goin' to see La Vida Loca, otherwise know as "Sofi".

I tried to warn him she had another man but that black bastard brother of mine never did have too much brain to him.

"I tell you, I'm not goin' to see that girl and I'm NOT!" he argued.

"Whatever man." Jerry laughed and then turned to Jack, " Hey Jack, Derek's downstairs on the couch waitin' for ya."

I growled and everyone turned to look at me.

"Umm, okay." Jack replied, glancing at me as he did so.

He placed his guitar down on his bed and hurried from the room.

Angel looked at me and laughed before walking down the stairs.

"What the hell was that about?" I demanded, turning to look at Jerry.

He came and sat down next to me before laughing himself.

"Man, Bobby you are so obvious."

I didn't even need to ask for an explanation, the look on my face did it for me.

"You in love with that boy." Jerry stated, "And before you even ask, no I don't think it's weird , neither does Angel and neither did Ma."

I was shocked.

"Ma knew!"

"Of course Ma knew! When have we ever been able to keep anything from that woman?" Jerry said, "Now I'd love to stay and talk about your problems more but I need to get to the store before it closes."

Jerry patted me on the shoulder sympathetically and the walked from the room with a chuckle.

It took me some time to sit there and process things before I rose and headed downstairs.

I saw red.

Jack sat on the couch with Derek, or rather he sat on Derek while "D" sat on the couch. They were

making out wildly, black hands gripping Jacks ass.

Like I said…I saw red.


	3. Figuring things out

Thank you to **EyesPaintedBlack**, **mestupgcscreamer**, and **zoey** for your awesome reviews. I really appreciate it and I'm glad you like the story! Also, thanks to **Lucy**, **DanaHeeroDuoMax, **and **StarCherrieQueen** for their continued support of the story.

On to the next chapter!

**Chapter 3: Figuring things out- Step One**

I saw red.

I stomped over to the couch and ripped Jack off him.

"What the hell do you think you're doin'!"

I could hear Jack trying to talk me down as I lifted Derek from the couch; not an easy task as he was quite a bit bigger then me.

"You think you can just sit here groping my little brother, in my dead mothers house, you think I'm gonna stand for that!"

"Bobby, please! C'mon Bobby, we'll leave, just let him go!" Jack pleaded.

I clenched my hand tighter around the neck of his black wife beater and tried to stare him down.

I could feel Jack feebly trying to pull my arm away.

"Listen you stupid bastard, I don't like you. I'm gonna tolerate you for Jackie's sake though, so be lucky he was here or else I woulda pounded your face in."

I pushed the unresisting man back down onto the couch and turned to Jack.

"I don't wanna see that shit in here again. Have a little respect for Ma, she just fuckin' died."

I took a few steps back and tried to push down the anger still boiling inside me as Jack ran over and helped Derek up.

I saw Derek grab Jacks wrist and whisper something into his ear, something that made his eyes go wide. Then, he musta thought I wouldn'tsee it, he tightened his grip and gave my little brother a warning look.

Not even looking at me he turned and stalked over to the door. I could hear him stomping around on the porch and then the scraping of a chair as he pulled one over to sit on; or so I assumed.

I turned to Jack, who was rubbing his wrist.

"What the hell was that!" I demanded, grabbing his arm and viewing the reddening skin.

"Nothin'." He grumbled, "It was nothin'."

"Don't give me that bullshit Jack. Don't tell me you let him pull you around like a little CrackerJack rag doll."

He wrenched his arm from my grasp and shoved me on the chest.

"Fuck you Bobby! You don't know shit!"

I started to grow angry, not at Jack though, no, never at Jack, but at the man waiting outside.

"Tell me what's goin' on Jack, you know I always got ya back."

If anything this made Jack angrier.

"Ugh Bobby! Leave it the fuck alone! Leave ME alone! Derek's a good guy."

"No one's good enough for you!" I snapped, " Especially not that fucker. Now tell me!"

Jack heaved a sigh and threw himself down onto the couch, all anger gone.

"Bobby, just sit the hell down. Come here."

I sat myself down next to him on the couch and stared him down. I wasn't gonna leave here without an answer.

"Bobby," he started, and I could tell this was a subject he really didn't want to talk about, " I met Derek at a time in my life that I had nothing. I came back to live with Ma after things started to go downhill and then Derek came into my life. He looks out for me, he's the only thing I need now. I mean, I haven't seen you and Angel in years and Derek, he was there for me ya know?"

"Is that you talkin', or him?" I asked.

"You're just gonna leave again Bobby…and Derek will still be here."

I had to interrupt again, had to reassure him that I could be what he needed.

"I'm gonna be around as long as you need me Jack."

He looked shocked and then, slowly, a smile spread across his face.

"You really mean that Bobby?"

I placed my hand on his arm.

"I do. This time I ain't goin' nowhere. I'm here as long as you want me."

An emotion flashed across his face, too quick for me to tell what it was and I had to lean forward to hear what he said next.

"Even if I want you forever?"

My heart leapt into my throat and I was about to reply with "Only if it's forever", however we were interrupted as Derek stormed into the room.

"Jack!" he growled, "You know I don't like to be kept waiting."

Jack flashed me a worried look that I couldn't quite figure out. Was he worried about my reaction, or Derek's?

He was about to stand but I beat him to it and pushed him back down before turning to the irritated black man.

"Sorry "D", but Jackie ain't going nowhere. He's gonna have some turkey with his brothers tonight, family affair, I'm sure you don't know how it is so I won't ask you to understand. Get the hell out."

"No Bobby." Jack soothed, " I'll be back in time okay? I'll be gone and back before you know it."

He squeezed himself from around my protective stance and hurried over to stand next to Derek.

As they walked from the room Jack gave me a wink that I think was supposed to reassure me.

It didn't.

I couldn't help but sit there long after they had left and wonder what would have happened if Derek hadn't come in right then.

I couldn't help but sit there and wonder….what if Jack felt the same?

**Don't worry, I am already working on the next chapter and it is gonna be longer then this one. It should be up later tonight. If there are any things you want to see happen in the story then name them and I'll see if I can make it happen ;)**


	4. The Rescue

-1Again, thanks for the reviews! Hope you like the chapter! It came out the same day as Chap 3 like I promised, just a little later at night then I thought it'd be.

**Chapter four: The Rescue**

"Bobby……Bobby!"

My eyes snapped open and I tried not to show my shock upon finding Angel's huge ass face two inches from mine.

"What the hell Jarhead! Back your ass up!"

A prissy female voice with a Hispanicaccent spoke up.

"Well, it serves you right Bobby. What, have you reverted to your childhood years and are in need of a nap in the middle of the day?"

"Shit Angel," I groaned, "I fuckin' KNEW you were goin' to see that girl, but did you have to bring La Vida Loca back here?"

"Man, shut up." Angel grumbled and moved over to wrap his arm around the waist of the woman.

I glanced out the window and noticed how dark it was outside. I must've been sleeping a long time.

"Where's Jerry?" I asked Angel.

"I dunno, I was out remember? But there's a big ass bird on the table so I'm guessing he must've dropped the thing off and then went home."

"Well I guess we're havin' our turkey tomorrow then." I paused here and realized that aside from Angel and Sofi the house was silent, " Where's Jack?"

"How the hell should I know?"

Sofi started giggling as Angel started to nuzzle her neck and then wrapped his arm around her.

"Whatever man, I'll go find out for myself."

I moved past the lovebirds and made my way upstairs.

His room was empty.

I checked the bathroom, ran back downstairs just in case I'd missed him in the kitchen, and then raced back up the stairs in the odd chance he was in Ma's room.

He wasn't.

I stormed back downstairs and over to the lovebirds.

"Angel, where does this Derek guy live?"

He pulled away from sampling the girls neck and thought for a moment.

"I think he mentioned the downtown complex once. I'm guessin' that's where he lives, or at least hangs out."

Going to the door I slipped my boots on and checked to see if my gun was still in place. The reassuring weight allowed me to focus.

I was going to get Jack.

As I drove to the Downtown Complex I was both worried and angry. Worried about what I was gonna find when I got there….angry for the same reason.

Downtown Complex.

Not a good place, and that's Bobby Mercer sayin' so.

It was basically a run-down apartment building which housed every imaginable type. Drug dealers, prostitutes, killers, runaways, abusive couples; the last one made me edgy.

What was a "good" guy like Derek doin' livin' in there?

Something wasn't right. I knew I shoulda trusted my instincts!

I parked about two blocks away from the place; I didn't trust that my baby wouldn't get broken into.

The walk did me good. Calmed me down a bit, at least, until I arrived at the building.

Screams.

Angry ones, scared ones, sounds you should only have to hear in your nightmares, drifted out from the rat-infested hellhole.

My Jack was in there?

_Not for much longer_ , I thought , _and never again._

I thumped my way over to the prostitute hanging out on the entrance stairs and gripped her arm in a way that told her I meant business.

"Derek. Where is he."

She swallowed and shifted nervously.

"I don't know who you're talkin' about sugar. If you want a good time though, you needn't look any further."

Disgusted, I tightened my grip.

"Not interested. Now, I'm gonna give ya one last chance to give me an honest answer. Derek. Black guy. Came in with a kid named Jack. You've got 3 seconds."

I used my free hand to adjust the gun at my waist, drawing the whores attention to it.

Her eyes grew wide.

"O..Okay!" she stammered, "He lives on the third floor, #24!"

"I appreciate ya help." I sneered and made my way into the building, leaving the nearly naked girl alone on the steps rubbing her arm.

"First floor," I mumbled as I walked up the stairs, "Second floor. Aha! Third floor, here I come Jackie."

It didn't take long to reach #24 and I knocked loudly to be heard over the pounding rap music coming from inside.

The stereo turned off and I heard a man ask, "Who the hell is it?"

I softly cleared my throat and raised my voice a few octaves.

"Housekeeping!"

I heard muffled grumbles and thumps and then Derek's distinct voice.

"Housekeeping my ass. Go get the door bitch!"

Someone approached and locks slid back before the door creaked itself open and I saw Jack standing there.

With a black eye.

"Bobby?" he stammered, clearly in shock.

"I thought you said you was gonna be back later Jackie? It's later. Aren't ya gonna invite me in?"

He was about to reply when a black man I'd never seen before came up behind him, beer bottle in hand, and wrapped his arms around him.

When he caught sight of me he yelled back over his shoulder, "Hey D! Your boy's talking to another man!"

"What!" I heard bellowed from the background.

Derek came out of a side room and stopped short upon seeing me.

"Jack," he said, ignoring me for the moment," Go get your shit. Looks like Big Brother's here to hold your hand and walk home."

I was shocked when Jack actually listened to the fucker, turning around and disappearing into one of the rooms. We'd definitely have to change that little habit.

Derek came closer to the door, pushing the unknown guy to the side and taking a swig from his beer.

"Nice of ya to drop by Bobby."

"Yeah well, I came to give ya something'" I remarked.

Oh ya, this was gonna be good.

"Oh ya?" he asked, curiosity peaked, " What's that?"

"This!" I yelled, before swinging my arm back and letting my knuckles meet his face.

However, it seemed that once I started, I couldn't really bring myself to stop. Oh well, I was never one to put a stop to violence.

"I saw what ya did to Jackie you bastard! I know what you're doin'! You come within three feet of him again and I'm gonna break both ya legs! No, better yet, I'm gonna kill ya."

Jack had reappeared sometime during Derek's ass kicking and, like clockwork, he tried pulling me off him.

I didn't stop until both my fist and Derek's face were bloody and unrecognizable.

Wiping the blood off on my jeans I gripped Jack's arm and asked him if he'd gotten ass his stuff, not even waiting for him to answer before pulling him from the apartment.

We didn't speak until we were in my car. I hadn't even commented on the prostitute I'd met before as she shouted after us.

I turned to him only after we'd sat there in the dark for what seemed like hours.

I raised my hand and gripped his chin, trying to get a good look at his eye.

He jerked his face away from me, turning it to the window.

"Just take me home Bobby." he whispered.

Not myself then to him, I moved my outstretched hand to the keys and, after starting the car, I did as my Jack had asked me.

I took him home.


	5. At Long Last

Here's a chapter I hope you all like. Hope the "scene" was written okay and that you can disregard any spelling mistakes, I was in a bit of a hurry. Enjoy!

**Chapter Five: At Long Last**

"Go to the couch and sit your ass down. We're talking." I snapped at Jack the moment we stepped foot through the door.

"Fuck you Bobby."

Jack made to go up the stairs but I grabbed him by the back of his jacket and muscled him over to the couch.

"I don't fucking think so Jack. Sit the hell down!"

Nope, I could tell right now he wasn't gonna go for it.

"Leave me alone!"

He started thrashing about, trying to throw me off of him.

"I'm still your big brother Jackie! I can still whoop your ass!"

I struggled with him for a few more minutes before his body relaxed and I knew he had given up.

Slowly I let my grip on him loosen, ready just in case he decided he still had a little bit of fight left in him. Thank god he didn't. Little Jack sure grew up when I was gone, I think I might even have a bruise or two come morning.

Easing myself completely off him I tried to will all the blood in my body to leave my lower half ; Jackie had almost had me a few times because of it.

_Focus Bobby!_ I reminded myself.

"Stay there. I'm gonna go get some ice for your eye. If I come back and you're gone I'm gonna hunt ya back down. You don't want that, trust me."

I stood and walked warily from the room, keeping Jack within my line of sight until I got to the kitchen where I ran to the freezer and threw some ice into a dish towel before racing back into the living room.

"Good boy." I teased, chucking the ice at him.

"Now," I started and saw him tense, "speak."

Jack stroked his finger along the edge of the couch.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Well, you can start with how you got that black eye, even though I'd say it's pretty obvious."

Jack shot me a glare, although it wasn't very menacing; a black eye can do that to a guy.

"Well if it's obvious what the hells the point in asking? Besides, it's your fault anyway."

Wait a minute, say that again?

"What? How the hell do ya think that?"

Jack ran a hand through his hair angrily, the other was still clutching the ice.

"God Bobby! If you hadn't made him so mad then I wouldn't be sittin' here with a fuckin' towel full of ice for my black eye!"

"Speakin' of which, put it on there. Ain't gonna do no good if you just hold it."

Jack let out a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh.

"God Bobby, where were you two months ago. What makes you think you can just waltz back into everyone's lives and deal out shit advice. Where were you when I needed you!"

I started to develop a tight feeling in my chest and decided to move next to him on the couch.

As I sat there he began to shake so without thinking, as usual, I pulled him into my arms.

"It just hurts Bobby….It's hurt for so long." I heard Jack whisper into my chest.

I didn't know what to say. I was never any good at wording things right, I'd probably just end up making him more upset.

Luckily the silence didn't last long as Jack decided to speak again, his voice thick with unshed tears.

"I didn't know what to do."

I waited for him to finish, stroking his hair softly.

"He said he was all I had, and I believed him! I still believe him. I know it's wrong but I…I've just grown so used to it now."

"Used to what Jackie." I prompted, even though something inside me was screaming that I didn't want to know.

He raised his head from my chest and gazed up at me, the light from the street shone through the window and highlighted the dark bruise on his face.

"Used to him hitting me when I do something bad."

My breath caught in my throat.

"I never knew I was so bad, so stupid until I met him. He helped me Bobby! Can't you see that? I mean, sure sometimes I get a black eye or two, or a couple of bruises, but it's only because I can't seem to do things right. That's why my real parents didn't want me, that's why the only person who'd take me in was Ma, that's why you left…."

"No Jack," I interrupted, angry at myself, " My leaving had nothing to do with you. Hell kid, you're the reason I came back, aside from Ma's funeral."

Jack was shocked ; seems I've been causing that reaction a lot lately.

"You're serious?"

"Hell ya, you know I've never lied to ya!"

Jack's left eyebrow arched upwards and he smirked.

"Oh really. What about the time my favorite shirt went missing and I asked you if you'd seen it and you said no, even told me that you'd help me look for it. Then, I found out that you were using it to wipe the ice off your skates after Hockey."

Groaning I ruffled my hand through his hair.

"Ya, whatever." I said, trying to steer the conversation away from that particular subject.

I think I still had that shirt somewhere too; maybe in with my old hockey stuff, I'd have to check later.

"Anyway, when it's serious shit you know I'd never lie."

A soft smile appeared on Jack's lips.

"Ya, I know."

We stared at each other then, eyes raking over the new and remembering the old.

Slowly, and I'm still not sure what started it or who, our faces drew closer together and it was quite possible that at that moment my heart simply stopped beating.

I didn't know what was going on, I didn't really care right then. All I knew was that Jack's lips were only inches from mine, and I wasn't about to let that distance keep me from something I had been dreaming about for years.

I jerked my head forward and our lips met for the first time.

It was soft and sweet and everything I thought it'd be, but after a minute of that simple contact I needed more….and apparently Jack did too because he shifted himself over and into my lap, allowing my arms to wrap around him.

I let my tongue slip out and swipe along the seam of his mouth, putting gentle pressure on his lips until he opened them and let me slip past and explore his mouth.

Our tongues stroked and wrestled against each other in a mock battle and I wondered if I was supposed to feel this dizzy, before deciding I just didn't care.

Now, I had kissed many a girl in my time, but this….this was different. This was Jack.

When we parted I felt him nuzzle the side of my face and I leaned my head to the side so I could plant a soft kiss on his neck.

Passion still ran beneath the surface of our skin and I moved his head away from me so I could look into his eyes.

They were shut, long lashes casting shadows upon his cheeks, and I smiled as they slowly started to open.

Jack now stared back at me….but something was wrong. When his eyes had fully opened he had frozen on my lap and now sat staring at me with wide eyes.

"Jackie?" I whispered tenderly, "You okay?"

The sound of my voice caused a flurry of activity as he jumped off of me and started backing away.

"Jack?" I said again, growing worried.

He kept retreating and I suddenly realized he had started chanting underneath his breath.

"No no no no no no no."

I stretched my arm out towards him and he spun around, running from the room.

I heard his door slam shut and the scraping sound which signified a heavy object had just been moved in front of it.

"What the hell was that?" I mumbled, confused as hell, worried, and more then a little aroused.

I sat back down on the couch and replayed the kiss in my head.

"This certaintly isn't helping your situation here." I told myself, referring to the bulge in my pants.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the now wet towel containing half melted ice and I grabbed it quickly, dropping it on my lap before I could change my mind.

Jack was gonna be the death of me.


	6. Thinking About You

HEY GUYS! SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG AND THAT IT IS SO SHORT, I'VE HAD QUITE THE WRITERS BLOCK. PLUS, MY PUPPY BROKE IT'S LEG AND I'VE HAD MY COLLEGE CLASSES TO GET THROUGH SO I'VE BEEN BUSY BUSY. THIS CHAPTER IS A P.O.V CHAPTER SO IF IT SEEMS REALLY CHOPPY THEN THAT IS WHY. I TRIED TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE JUMBLED THOUGHTS. HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

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**Jacks P.O.V**

I kissed him.

I was in major trouble.

I had no idea what to do now.

These three things I knew.

Oh my god Bobby was probably just waiting down there. Waiting for me to come out. No way was that happening anytime soon. I'd already pushed my desk in front of the door just in case Bobby had followed me up and I wasn't moving it until tomorrow morning.

I didn't even know why I was freaking out like this. I mean, Bobby had said he would never hurt me and I trusted him. If it wasn't for Derek then I'd probably still be down there taking part in that out-of-this-world kiss , instead of hiding in my room like a little girl. Fucking fairy.

I'm so pathetic! I didn't want to believe him when he'd started telling me that but it was true, I couldn't deny it now! I've let myself be backed into this place and I have no idea how to get out. For years I've dreamt of Bobby, felt disgusted with myself for thinking it; Ma raised us as brothers! Eventually I accepted it, even if I knew it could never happen.

Derek.

Derek is the biggest mistake I've ever made but at the time all I knew was that Bobby would never want me so I took whoever did. I thought that maybe he could stop the hurt for awhile, but he just brought more. Soon I stopped feeling the pain from the hits, stopped caring when he'd let his friends paw at me. I wasn't worth real love. I never was.

Ma took me in out of the kindness of her heart after nobody else would and she kept me safe. I took it with me though……all the pain, the hate, the disregard, and even though I would always remember the love Evelyn gave me… the first time Derek's fist hit me it all came back.

Now I'd screwed things up royally with Bobby. How could I just throw myself on him like that! There he was going on about how he would always be there for me and I give him a damn good reason why he should just run the other way….forget we were ever brothers….forget we were ever anything.

I'm so stupid!

Oh ya, good job Jack, keep crying.

The look on Bobby's face when we pulled back from our kiss keeps replaying in my head. He looked so perfect, peaceful, and then I had to ruin it by remembering I was Derek's used goods, remembering that I was sitting in our dead mothers house kissing a man that I'd been raised to think of as my brother.

I'd come to terms with the love I have for Bobby, I knew it could never be just brotherly affection anymore….but Bobby still thought of me as his little brother, his little Jackie.

Had I ruined all that?

I mean sure he was kissing me back, but he could have just been caught up in the moment. Could've been thinking about one of the many girls he's been with over the years.

So, once again I'm forced to come to terms with the fact that Bobby and I can never be like that, except this time I know exactly what I'm missing out on.

I just… hope he'll be able to forgive me.

I still have Derek to deal with.

**Bobby P.O.V**

He's sitting up there right now. Probably curled up on his bed, maybe strumming his guitar to calm down. I don't know for sure, and it hurts to admit that.

When did Jack become so complicated? Was it when I started to love him as more then a brother? Is it because I'm just reading too much into it?

I don't know.

The only things that I know right now are 1. I'm so damn confused it's not funny, 2.There is nothing in this world that's gonna stop me from kissing Jack again, and 3. I've got a bag of melted ice on the crotch of my pants .

I can't believe that fucker gave my Jackie a black eye. God, who knows what else he's done to him!

Is that why he ran from me? He's scared I'm gonna hit him or treat him like that? No, it can't be that, Jack knows I'd never do that to him…… but what else could it be?

I'm so fucking confused.

Finally something happens between us, something I could've sworn Jack wanted too, and he runs!

I hope I can deal with this shit better tomorrow. There's no way I can stay away from him now…now that I know what I've been missing.

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The next chapter should have an apppearance by Derek with a little bit of Jeremiah and Angel, as well as a little bit of romantic action. No promises though so don't hold it against me if I go with something different.


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